The manly ghoul
by Setrus
Summary: I'm not good at writing humour. Still, the many ghoul/vaultie love stories here surprises me, and deserves notice. I like quite a few of them, but it's still fun to poke a little fun on this particular storyarc. Don't hurt me...


"Aww come on!" The little vault kid cooed, a jovial arm wrapped around Charon's shoulder, which meant she standing on her toes _and_ on a bucket...which wobbled under her unsteady stance. "Just a little peek!"

She was drunk, or rather, she _thought_ she was drunk. Apparently someone had told her Nuka-Cola was alcoholic...and she acted accordingly.

Charon sighed inwardly, how the kid had survived long enough to reach the ninth circle was beyond him. Especially since she had spent most of her time since buying his contract ogling him instead of focusing on the ground, the mines and the occasional super mutant. How someone could miss such a massive creature was beyond Charon, but she had succeeded...multiple times.

"Mistress?" Charon queried, knowing fully well what her new master wanted. They had been through this quite a few times now, every evening since she'd bought his contract in fact.... Every day it was the same, she would stop ogling him for a moment, blush as she went to cook him a meal that was _always_ undercooked...and then use the Nuka-Cola she drank with the meal as an excuse to come on to him.

"Oh I think you know..." The woman leant harder against him, apparently her 'drunken' logic telling her to try and push him over so she could drop on top of him. Which considering their difference in weight and muscles was pure idiocy. Charon forced himself not to roll his eyes, sure, he was a man...but this was a kid, an annoying one at that. Besides...the contract of his had killed the urges many of his employees had had ages ago. "You..._purty_ man." She swallowed down some air...then forced a wimpy little burp.

"Mistress?" Charon repeated his question, wondering how many times he would go through this this time. Normally it took eight attempts before she huffed off and went to sleep, muttering whiny little curses under her breath while 'hiding' the way she played with herself under her covers...it was quite annoying.

"Okay, that's it!" Huh, that's a new one. The kid dropped to the ground, the bucket rolling away with a clatter. She swayed where she stood, amazing what one could convince oneself of... "I _order_ you to take off your clothes." She leered at him, apparently very proud of her decisiveness.

"As you command, I obey." Charon intoned with a shrug. He didn't really care, let the kid ride him till sundown...maybe then she would be worn down enough to quit her god damn babbling?

His moves were mechanical, it had been years since he'd taken the armour off, but he remembered every strap and buckle...with a creak the top part dropped off and down unto the floor. "Oh..." Glancing up he saw the kid take a step back, her gaze roving over his patchy and rotten flesh, muscles exposed and flaps of green mush hanging by whatever living skin that was left. Her drunken look was gone, replaced a _very_ clear one of pure horror.

Still, her order was still there, as such Charon obeyed. Another creak and he unbuckled his belt, the worn leather swinging to the side since it wouldn't bend downwards. A tug and the zipper came down, next came the button... Charon heard an odd gulping sound escape his mistress, but it was no order...he pulled his pants down.

"Oh..." Looking up again Charon found the kid stumble several steps back. Her skin went from pale to red...then green. "Oh _God_!" Another gulp escaped her, a hand going up to her throat while her eyes were fixed on the half-rotten lump hanging from between Charon's legs. "Oh...my..." She tried to speak again, instead she turned away and threw up.

Crossing his arms in front of him Charon watched the kid drop unto her knees, right in the edge of the new garnishing of the floor...and then add even more to it as her entire body convulsed in an attempt to puke her guts out. _Kids_...Charon rolled his eyes even as he took a step forward, the contract forcing him to lend his assistance.

"Ah! Get away from me!" The kid started running.

_Two days later..._

"Mistress..."

"Leave me alone!" Came the cry from behind the door to the kid's room. After running for a whole day, leaving him rushing after in the nude since she hadn't ordered him to take his clothes back on...she had finally rushed into her room in Megaton and now kept herself locked in there no matter what Charon said.

He sighed. "You must eat mistress, I need to check your health as well." He considered taking his armour back on, the sun hadn't been good to his unprotected body, and the stale air in the house was no better. But she hadn't ordered it...idiot. "Please open the door."

"Cut it _off_!"

"Mistress?"

"I can't bear it! The image is horrible!" Charon heard the kid throw herself against the wall within her room, most likely head first. "Ow! It shouldn't exist! It's horrible!" Another crash of head versus wall. "Now cut it _off_!"

Orders were orders...Charon sighed and reached for a knife. "As you command, I obey."

A quick tug and cut...and his raspy voice exploded into a surprisingly high pitched soprano.

_And so goes the circle of love..._


End file.
